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Hi :) I've just joined here because I feel for one of the first times… - support when you need it most [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
i have an eating disorder

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[Nov. 16th, 2008|09:48 pm]
i have an eating disorder

i_have_an_ed

[maisiejane]
Hi :) I've just joined here because I feel for one of the first times ever I need some support, and these groups are great for doing just that.

To start with, I'm 110lbs and 5'5.

I like to consider myself an expert at weight loss. I got myself from a BMI of 21.5 to 16 two years ago. My parents sent me to rehab for this on top of other things, and I guess I turned around my thinking. I started exercising and eating healthily, stopped drinking.

But it doesn't make me feel good. Immediately after exercise I feel amazing, but no where near as amazing as I used to feel when I minimized the amount I ate. And when I'm not exercising I feel useless and paranoid about what and how much I'm eating.

I want to get back down to 98lbs. That's around my pre-rehab weight. I'll be honest, I wish I could be healthy. But I can't. It doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm not working on being thin. And I'm steadily putting on weight as well - my doctor says I'm moving towards the weight I'm supposed to be.

So, I'm looking for a fasting buddy for motivation. Anyone up for it? I'd love you to death if you were.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: the_golden_cage
2008-11-16 09:46 pm (UTC)
I so can relate to this. I feel like I'm trapped. I hate that weight loss makes you feel good. I don't understand how anyone can even ask me to gain weight when it will make me so depressed.
I feel like a defeatist for letting the ED win but I can't help that it makes me feel good.

Jenn
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[User Picture]From: missfuckedupemo
2009-02-15 08:46 pm (UTC)
hi read ur post i'll tatolly be a buddie if ur from the uk we can be text buddies i'll leave my number in ur messages k?? and u can get back to me. i know how u feel i once in hostiapl held my hands above my head for 6 hours to make sure the drip couldnt go no were :(

peace out
xXx
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