||[Nov. 16th, 2008|09:48 pm]
i have an eating disorder
Hi :) I've just joined here because I feel for one of the first times ever I need some support, and these groups are great for doing just that.|
To start with, I'm 110lbs and 5'5.
I like to consider myself an expert at weight loss. I got myself from a BMI of 21.5 to 16 two years ago. My parents sent me to rehab for this on top of other things, and I guess I turned around my thinking. I started exercising and eating healthily, stopped drinking.
But it doesn't make me feel good. Immediately after exercise I feel amazing, but no where near as amazing as I used to feel when I minimized the amount I ate. And when I'm not exercising I feel useless and paranoid about what and how much I'm eating.
I want to get back down to 98lbs. That's around my pre-rehab weight. I'll be honest, I wish I could be healthy. But I can't. It doesn't make me feel good. It makes me feel like I'm not working on being thin. And I'm steadily putting on weight as well - my doctor says I'm moving towards the weight I'm supposed to be.
So, I'm looking for a fasting buddy for motivation. Anyone up for it? I'd love you to death if you were.